Etiquette (also known as Consideration)

A simple way to look at etiquette is just to be considerate of others.  In today’s fast-paced world and with so much technology around us, it is far too easy to forget common courtesies.  Take a moment to think about how you interact  (or DON’T interact) with the people around you.  Weddings and special occasions can be stressful times and sometimes it is easy to forget to be considerate of our friends, relatives and the business people we are dealing with.  Take a deep breath and remember how YOU want to be treated and that should bring you back  to reality.  It is easy for brides to get caught up in the “this is MY day” script and forget others.

Start  by considering your immediate family.  This special occasion includes many  people who  will be excited about this special day.   Emotions may  be riding high and it is all too easy to say the wrong thing quickly with the wrong tone and set off a whirlwind of bad feelings.  Try to think of what the occasion means to grandparents  and parents as they see their little girl or boy making a lifetime commitment.  Their support is important and probably easy to gain simply by your being considerate.  Your siblings may have special emotions about  “loosing you” to your new partner or possibly you  will be moving away and thus changing your relationship.  Friends, as well, have feelings about the changes which are and will be taking place.  None of this means that you have to give up the way you want your dream day to be, but it may take some extra thought as to how to deal with some people.

This consideration extends to the business people you will be dealing with.  Again, it IS your special day, but remember that those business people are most likely dealing with brides everyday and some can be difficult.  Yes, it is their job to remain calm in spite of your nervousness.  However, many things which may seem like a crisis to you are simply a normal part of every work day for  vendors in the business of weddings and special events.  There are a number of things you can do to show your consideration for your vendors.   Many of them work very hard to make a living and to keep a business profitable.  Be aware of the time you take with them and pay attention to the valuable information which they are sharing with you.  By doing so, you will save yourself both time and money.  Yes, you will need time to digest the material and to make decisions but be aware of the things you may be doing which unneccessarily take their extra time.  Do not talk on your telephone while your vendors are spending time with you.  First, it is simply rude and you are not giving the attention you should to the project at hand (selecting flowers, a wedding gown, a cake, etc.).  Turn your phone off.  Take only a few photos if the vendor allows them at all.  This again takes away from the valuable time the vendor is spending with you and we have found that most photos which are taken of a gown do not do it justice.  The photo seldom shows  the detail, the sparkle, the gown has not been fitted to you,  your hair may not look its best and your make-up is far from what it will be on that special day.  When you look at these photos when you arrive home,  the glamour of the gown is often lost.  It is important to BE IN THE MOMENT and enjoy it………….not focusing on someone, somewhere else or posing for a photo.

Some shops may request that you remove your shoes or boots when you arrive.  Think about the expensive gowns which are being tried on and how quickly street dirt, snow or mud may be transferred to those gowns.  Please do not be offended, but be considerate.  One day that may be you doing a final fitting on your gown on those CLEAN floors.   It is never adviseable to bring a group with you to make decisions.  Yes, you probably will want to bring your Mom, sister or best friend.  We are simply saying that you should NOT bring all ten bridesmaids because we can assure you that you will NOT get the gown of your dreams.  You will be so overpowered by everyone’s opinions, that you will find it impossible to make  a decision on what YOU want.  Foul language is never acceptable when you are in any business.  It is disrespectful to others and only gives others around you a bad opinion of you and your friends.  If a problem does occur during transactions with one of your vendors, it is important to stay calm.  Again, most vendors have had experience with all the things which can go wrong and can normally solve these problems with little difficulty.  Often the most difficult aspect of fixing the problem is dealing with the bride who goes off the deep end over a small issue.

When you make an appointment with a vendor to make a purchase or  a booking, be prepared to put down a deposit if you are happy with what you have found.  How many businesses spend time with you without charging you for their services?  Keep in mind that you have just taken time from a business.  They are in the business of providing a service but If they have provided that service of finding what you need, you should be prepared to pay in the form of a down payment or commitment. Be considerate of others and you will be rewarded with good service from your vendors and love and support from your family.