How Do I?

We gladly help our brides solve awkward problems that can arise when one is giving a party for 150 friends of the bride. No matter how organized one is, it is nice to have an experienced specialist - a knowledgeable consultant or certified wedding planner - available for face-to-face problem solving. Every wedding is unique and can have the problems that are presented by the 'people factor'.

• How do I handle guests who have responded to our invitations and state on the reply card that the number or guests planning to attend is larger than the number we've invited? If you guest count and budget can handle the number of "guests" indicated, chalk it up to bad manners on the part of those guests and just greet them with as much good grace as you can muster. However, if you guest count is already pushing over the budget and you truly cannot absorb the extra bodies, we suggest that you turn to your maid of honor, a tactful bridesmaid or family member who may know the offending guests well. Ask this person to call the guests in question and explain that the bride would love to expand her guest list, but unfortunately it is not possible. The reason? Budget, time, space concern! If the person is offended - and some will be - they are not true friends. Remember that they are the ones who have overstepped the etiquette boundaries. If you really want the invitees to attend in spite of their children  (and that's where many overages originate), you might consider adding to the reception card wording that reads "adults only reception". If you find that many of your invited guests are bringing uninvited children, you may just want to arrange for the children to be at a "separate" reception somewhere in the same venue where you can provide babysitters, TV, craft items, or games, and a separate kid friendly menu that is provided by family members!